I WILL LIVE UNTIL I DIE, an old Irish saying

Toward the end, Rose and I frequently talked about death. Some of it was a little guarded. One day she said to me, "I'm not scared of death, I just never think of it."

The difficult part of the cancer thing (at least to me) is that it is often a feeling of being "finite." For me, who is always "tongue in cheek," saying, "I figure that I have 4 or five more years." I really mean it, relatively speaking, but in my terms, what does it mean? Basically, living the best I can and surrounded by the magic of Grandkids. (Before I had Grandkids, I would hear all these people talk about their Grandkids and would invariably think, "these people need to get a life)". However, really, the fact of the matter is that I don't know how long I'll live. I could die tomorrow, next week, ten years from now. But, in my experience, for a cancer patient, it is truly finite or to them, the feeling that it is finite.